Escape to the Enchanting Hotel Haus Erlen: Your Olsberg Adventure Awaits!
Escape to Haus Erlen: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Black Forest (and Sauna)
Okay, so I’m back from the Haus Erlen in Olsberg, and lemme tell you, I’m still unpacking. Not just my suitcase (though, hello, laundry service!), but also this whole… experience. This isn’t just a hotel, folks. It’s a vibe. And frankly, it’s a vibe I desperately needed. You know, after the year we’ve all had.
Let's get the nitty-gritty out of the way first, because let's be honest, you need to know if this place walks the talk. And mostly, it does.
Accessibility: Accessibility: I did a quick scan, and the website says they have facilities for disabled guests… but I’m not an accessibility expert, so I can't really get deep into the nitty-gritty on that. Call, ask questions, that's my advice.
Cleanliness & Safety: My Germophobe's Paradise (Almost)
Look, post-pandemic, safety is huge. Haus Erlen gets it. They have anti-viral cleaning products, professional-grade sanitizing services, rooms sanitized between stays, hand sanitizer everywhere, and staff that clearly know their protocols. The daily disinfection in common areas was comforting. They make sure the dining set up is safe. I feel slightly better now after thinking about all that sanitizing.
But here's the thing: I'm a little… hyper-vigilant. I'm that person who still side-eyes the bread basket. So, for me, the room sanitization opt-out available option felt… a little weird. Wouldn't everyone want the full sanitization? Maybe that’s just me.
Dining, Drinking & Snacking: Hello, Food Coma!
Okay, buckle up, because this is where things get glorious and slightly chaotic (in the best way). Haus Erlen has a ton of restaurants, a bar, a poolside bar. I was practically rolling down the hills after my visit (mostly because of the western food).
The breakfast buffet was epic. I'm not usually a buffet person (germs!), but this one was… manageable, and they have vegetarian options. They have an Asian Breakfast too. I am not the biggest Asian food fan so did not try, but I hear it is pretty great. There's coffee/tea in the restaurant, the coffee shop, is just amazing, and also the desserts in the restaurant are amazing.
The Sauna: My Near-Religious Experience
Okay, folks, this is where I lost myself (in a good way). The spa/sauna situation at Haus Erlen is… well, it’s a religion. I have spent an entire day just going through the sauna and steamroom. Pure, unadulterated bliss. Seriously, the sauna with the beautiful view… I think I saw God. Or maybe it was just the heat and the feeling of utter, complete relaxation. Either way, recommend.
Things To Do & Ways To Relax: Beyond the Sauna (If You Can Tear Yourself Away)
Besides the sauna, they have a fitness center, a pool with a view, massage, and a foot bath. You could get a body scrub and a body wrap. I didn't do all of them, because, hello, sauna! But the thought is nice.
Services & Conveniences:
They really thought of everything. air conditioning in public areas, business facilities, the basics… but then comes the unexpected brilliance like the concierge, the contactless check-in/out, the gift shop, and the laundry service. I just want to throw my clothes in the laundry and forget about it. Love it.
Rooms: Comfort and Functionality
The rooms… they're good. Comfy beds, air conditioning, bathrobes, coffee/tea maker, and free Wi-Fi (hallelujah!). They have non-smoking rooms, which I appreciate, and they're generally well-equipped. They also have soundproof rooms, which is a lifesaver when you're trying to sleep off that food coma. I loved the desk and laptop workspace – great for pretending to work while secretly planning my next spa visit.
For the Kids:
I don't have kids, but they seem kid-friendly, with babysitting services and kids’ facilities.
Overall, The Vibe
Haus Erlen has soul, and it shows not just in the amenities, but in the staff, who are genuinely helpful and friendly.
My Very Opinionated Recommendation (aka, Why You Should Book Now)
Okay, so here's the deal. If you're looking for an escape, a good time, a chance to actually breathe… Haus Erlen is your place. It's a little quirky, a little imperfect (what isn't?), but it's also incredibly charming and, most importantly, it's relaxing. Don’t expect perfection. Expect a good time!
The Offer:
Escape to the Enchanting Hotel Haus Erlen: Your Olsberg Adventure Awaits!
Book your stay at Haus Erlen now and receive:
- A complimentary welcome drink upon arrival.
- Early check-in (subject to availability) so you can dive into relaxation sooner!
- Exclusive access to our new "Sauna & Serenity" package, which includes a complimentary massage and a daily spa pass.
- Free parking.
Why you'll love it:
- Unwind and enjoy their sauna/spa.
- Explore Olsberg and the surrounding Black Forest.
- Indulge in delicious food and drinks with various menus and drinks!
- Relax in comfortable and well-equipped rooms.
- Experience the warmth and hospitality of the Haus Erlen team.
Don't wait! The best rooms and spa experiences are booking up fast! Book your escape to Haus Erlen today!
Escape to the Dolomites: Indulge in Luxury at Pineta Pastry Hotel
Alright, buckle up buttercups, because trying to wrangle a travel itinerary for Hotel Haus Erlen in Olsberg, Germany, is basically herding cats wearing lederhosen. Here we go… and don't judge the mess, it's meant to be messy!
Day 1: Arrival and That Darn Steep Hill
- 14:00 – Touchdown in Olsberg (ish): Okay, so the train from Frankfurt, that was… an experience. Germans, bless their efficient hearts, are NOT always the most helpful when you're battling luggage and a sudden existential crisis about whether you packed enough socks. Managed to navigate the station, though, mostly thanks to a very patient pigeon who seemed to be judging my fashion choices.
- 14:30 – The Hill of Doom: Found the hotel! Hotel Haus Erlen, looking all charming and nestled in a valley like it's straight out of a fairytale. Except. To get there… there's a hill. A BLOODY STEEP HILL. Think Everest, but cobblestone. I swear, my calves are screaming for mercy. Definitely earned that first beer.
- 15:00 - Check-in and Room Revelation: The reception was all smiles and efficiency – a welcome contrast to the hill! My room? Charming, yes, but also… tiny. And overlooking the neighbor's prize-winning petunias. Which, honestly, are a little much if you ask me. Still, the view of the Sauerland mountains beyond makes up for it.
- 16:00 – Explore Olsberg (briefly): Stumbled around the town. Olsberg: Neat and tidy, like a well-ordered sock drawer. (I like neat sock drawers). Found a cute little bakery crammed with pastries that looked offensively delicious. I resisted… for maybe two minutes. Then, a Käsekuchen disappeared into the dark abyss of my stomach. Worth it.
- 19:00 – Dinner at the Hotel Restaurant: The food… okay, let's talk about the food. Solid. Hearty. German. I ordered the Schnitzel, which arrived, plate piled high, as big as my face. Managed half. Victory. The beer? Flowing like the Rhine. Feeling slightly tipsy and very, very full.
- 21:00 – Attempted Relaxation: Watched some questionable German television (lots of people yelling dramatically for some reason). Failed miserably at unwinding. Thinking about that hill again. Damn you, hill!
Day 2: Nature's Embrace… and a Near-Disaster
- 08:00 – Breakfast – The Great Buffet Battle: The breakfast buffet. Oh, the breakfast buffet. A chaotic symphony of cold cuts, cheeses (so many cheeses!), and enough bread to feed a small army. Managed to score a decent coffee and a rogue croissant, which I promptly devoured. Then, the bacon. Crispy, salty, and perfectly imperfect. I might be in love.
- 09:00 – Hiking Adventure (Sort of): Decided to conquer the hiking trails! Olsberg is all about the outdoors. Found a trail that was, supposedly, "easy." Liars! The "easy" trail promptly turned into a vertical climb through a forest full of grumpy looking trees. My lungs are protesting.
- 10:00 – The Near-Spill: Taking in the view, nearly tripped over my own feet in the middle of the goddamn forest! Somehow managed to stay upright and still keep my dignity. Feeling the endorphins kick in. This place is pretty great.
- 12:00 – Lunch - A Quick Pitstop: Found a cozy little trailside cafe, and had one of the only food that I can recall, Goulash Soup. Thick, rich, and comforting. The perfect fuel for my next (inevitable) hike.
- 14:00 – The Sauna Situation: Haus Erlen has a sauna. Naturally, I had to try it. The air was so dry, so hot, that I swear I started to melt. I think I survived for, like, ten minutes before I had to escape and cool off, like a wilted lettuce leaf.
- 16:00 – The Hotel Bar – A Moment of Reckoning: The hotel bar… Ah, the bar. A dark, cozy refuge. Sampled some local schnapps. Let's just say, it didn't go down as smoothly as I'd hoped. Spent a while chatting with a very opinionated (yet charming) old man about the merits of German cars. I learned a lot about the efficiency of BMWs; I vaguely recall admitting my hatred for driving.
- 19:00 – Dinner – Another Schnitzel (of course!): Back to the restaurant. Couldn't resist. This time, I managed to eat the whole thing. Feeling ridiculously pleased with myself.
- 21:00 – More Questionable German TV + Early Bedtime: Collapse into bed. Tomorrow, more adventures. And the hill. Always the hill.
Day 3: Detours, Dampness, and Desperate Souvenir Hunting
- 09:00 – Breakfast – Return of the Bacon: The call of the bacon. It was there. I went back. No regrets.
- 10:00 – Day Trip to a Nearby Town: A train to another town. Everything was closed for a public holiday. I am convinced that Germans invented holidays to keep me confused.
- 12:00 – Attempting to Understand Sauerkraut: Tried German food. Loved the food, except sauerkraut. It smells like gym socks in a bin. I tried to eat it, I really did, but eventually, surrendered.
- 14:00 – Shopping (and the Quest for the Perfect Souvenir): Decided to finally buy some souvenirs. Picked up a cuckoo clock that cost more than my paycheck. Totally worth it.
- 16:00 – Another Walk: Decided to take a final walk through the town. Found a charming little church. Felt genuinely peaceful.
- 18:00 – Early Dinner: Had my final Schnitzel because, well, I can't leave without it.
- 20:00 – Packing (a Disaster): Packed. My clothes are probably wrinkled, my suitcase is bursting at the seams, and I still have no idea how to pronounce "Danke."
- 21:00 – Melodramatic Farewell: A last look at the petunias. Wondering if I'll ever see this place again. Probably. I'll miss it… in a weird, hill-filled, schnitzel-fueled kind of way.
Day 4: Departure
- 07:00 – Last Breakfast and Departure: The last buffet battle. Managed to stuff myself with one last croissant. Said a tearful goodbye to the bacon.
- 08:00 – The Hill… One. Last. Time.: The Hill of Doom. Conquered it once more!
- 09:00 – Train to the Airport: Ready for a real shower and a quiet space!
- 13:00: Flight Home
- 14:00 - Back Home
So there you have it. A travel itinerary that's about as organized as my sock drawer. But hey, Olsberg and Hotel Haus Erlen, they're not about perfection. They're about the experience. The hills, the schnitzels, the questionable German TV… and that damn hill. Absolutely worth it. Prost!
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Frequently Asked (and Probably Mostly Unnecessary) Questions About Hotel Haus Erlen - Because Let's Be Honest, Olsberg Doesn't Exactly Scream "Glamour")
Okay, so… is this place actually *enchanting*? Like, are there pixies or something? Because my expectations are already low, Olsberg being Olsberg.
Right, "enchanting." Look, I'm gonna level with you. Olsberg is… Olsberg. Think… charming, in a "well, it's functional" kind of way. No pixies. Unless, of course, you consider the elderly lady who runs the bakery down the street who always seems to *know* when you're craving a strudel… that might be magic. The *hotel* itself is charming in an older-than-your-grandma's-house kind of way. But the views? The *views* are genuinely lovely. Think rolling hills, fresh air... and the occasional cow giving you the side-eye. "Enchanting" might be overselling it a *smidge*, but… it's a good escape. Kinda.
What's the deal with the food? Am I going to be eating nothing but schnitzel and potatoes for a week? (Because I *like* schnitzel, but… variety, you know?)
Okay, food. This is where things get… *interesting*. Yes, schnitzel makes a regular appearance. And yes, potatoes are practically a food group around here. But, and this is a *big* but, they do have other things. I'm thinking back to this one meal, it was a pork roast, and it was incredible. Like, tear-jerkingly good. And the apple strudel? Don't even get me started. I had two pieces. No regrets. But, truth be told, some of the other dishes... well, let's just say they were… *adventurous*. Like, one night I got something called "Sauerkraut Salad with Meatballs". My taste buds are still recovering.
Is there Wi-Fi? Because, honestly, I need to stay connected to the outside world. You know, the one with Netflix and decent coffee.
Wi-Fi. Ah, the bane of modern existence, and the unspoken expectation of every hotel, even in a place like Olsberg. Yes, there *is* Wi-Fi. Sort of. It's there. You can connect. But imagine dial-up in the digital world. It's… leisurely. Embrace the disconnect. Read a book. Talk to someone. Actually *look* at the view. As for the coffee, well… I’m not gonna lie, I packed my own French press. Just saying.
What is there to *do* in Olsberg? Besides, you know, breathing? Will I die of boredom?
Boredom. The enemy of any traveler. Look, Olsberg isn't exactly Ibiza. You won't find wild parties or neon lights. But that's kind of the point, right? Hiking is a big thing, and the trails are actually rather beautiful. The Sauerland region is gorgeous. You can visit the brewery. Trust me, you want to visit the brewery. And there's a lake nearby for swimming (in the summer, obviously). It's more about relaxing, recharging, and escaping the constant noise of… well, everywhere else. Think of it as forced zen. You might actually *like* it. Or, you might just end up spending most of your time eating strudel and cursing the Wi-Fi. Either way, it's a story, right?
Are the rooms clean? I'm a bit of a germaphobe, and let's face it, older hotels... they have a reputation.
Cleanliness. A valid concern! Okay, the rooms are… clean enough. Think "grandma's house after she's had a dusting day." It's not sterile, it's not sparkling, but you won't find dust bunnies doing the tango. The linens are *usually* fresh. I remember one time, though… okay, I *have* to tell you this. I think it was the first day, I went to put on the shower – beautiful old clawfoot tub, by the way – and, well, let’s just say the drain was a little… slow. And when it did start to drain, it was like a small archaeological dig in the drainpipe. They fixed it, eventually. And the rest of the stay was fine, mostly. Bring some Clorox wipes, just in case.
What about the staff? Are they friendly? Do they speak English? (My German is... limited.)
The staff! This is a good one. Okay, so the staff are generally lovely. Most of them speak *some* English, though it might be a bit… rusty. Think of it as a learning experience. I'm thinking back to that time I accidentally ordered a whole *roasted chicken* thinking it was just a chicken breast. The poor waitress, she was so patient, trying to figure out what I meant. I think I ended up eating about a quarter of the chicken. It was delicious, but I think I took a whole course on "how to say I was not expecting a whole roasted chiken" with hand gestures. My German is still terrible, but I'll never forget that encounter, or the chicken.
Is it romantic? I'm thinking of bringing my significant other.
Romantic? Hmmm… Depends. If your idea of romance involves roaring fireplaces, cozy nooks, and… well, a slower pace of life, then yes, *potentially*. It's not a flashing-lights-and-champagne kind of romance. It’s more like, a "holding hands while you watch the sunset over the rolling hills" kind of romance. Or maybe, a "sharing a questionable strudel and laughing about it later" kind of romance. Look, the setting has potential, but the romance depends entirely on *you*. I'd say go for it. Just don’t expect a helicopter ride with a proposal at the top of the hill. Unless… well, maybe if you ask nicely. And pack your own champagne.
Should I actually book this place? Or am I just setting myself up for disappointment?
Okay, the million-dollar question. Should you go? Look, if you're looking for a perfectly polished, Instagram-worthy experience, probably not. But if you're looking for something… different. Something real. Something with a little bit of character, and a lot of potential for accidental adventures? Then yes. Absolutely, yes. Just go with an open mind, a sense of humor, and a healthy appreciation for schnitzel. And maybe pack some Clorox wipes, a French press, and a phrasebook. You’ll probably have some stories to tell, either way. And that, my friend, is the best kind of travel.
