Asia Novo: Oroquieta's Hidden Gem Hotel — Unbelievable Luxury Awaits!
Asia Novo: Oroquieta - Paradise Found (…Maybe?) A Seriously Unfiltered Review
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because I'm about to spill the tea on Asia Novo: Oroquieta. "Unbelievable Luxury Awaits!" they shout, and honestly, a little part of me, the jaded traveler part, just rolled my eyes. But hey, I'm all about giving things a chance, especially if it involves escaping the daily grind. So, after an unnecessarily long journey (more on that later!), I found myself staring up at the hotel, ready to be wowed… or maybe just mildly impressed.
(I'm going to be brutally honest, okay? This isn't some perfectly polished travel brochure. This is real. And I have A LOT to say.)
First Impressions & the Grand Entrance (or Lack Thereof):
Accessibility is ALWAYS a big thing for me (and should be for everyone, frankly). I was happy to see an Elevator, and though I didn’t need it, that's a big plus for fellow travelers with Mobility issues and facilities for disabled guests are listed – Always a good sign. The exterior itself seemed… well, functional. Not exactly "jaw-dropping" luxury, but tidy enough. The check-in was, thankfully, painless. They even had Contactless check-in/out, which I appreciate, because let's be honest, nobody wants to share germs anymore!
The Room (and its Little Quirks):
Okay, the room. It's clean. REALLY clean. And they’ve got a ton of the amenities. Air conditioning in every nook and cranny, a comfy bed, a real bathtub (score!), and even a closet to hide all your questionable travel purchases. Free Wi-Fi [free] too, which is crucial these days, though I might add I wish my Wi-Fi at home were just as fast. But then there were the little things. The "extra long bed" was maybe a little misleading – it wasn't that extra, unless your definition of "extra" is a few scant inches. Also, despite having an In-room safe box, I couldn’t help but feel that some of the features were a little dated. I’m talking about you, the alarm clock that I’m 90% sure predates the dawn of the internet. Still, there were nice touches: free bottled water (always appreciated!), complimentary tea, and decent toiletries. Oh, and the blackout curtains? Pure genius. Slept like a baby. (A grumpy, caffeine-deprived baby, but a baby nonetheless.)
Things to Do (and How to Actually Relax):
Alright, now we're talking. The hotel has this amazing selection of things to do:
- Things to do: They have a pool with a view, a gym/fitness center, and a spa/sauna.
- Ways to relax: They offer a Body scrub/wrap, a Foot bath, Massage, and Steamroom,
- Pool: The hotel has a swimming pool [outdoor] and a pool with a view.
- Fitness center: They have a gym/fitness center.
- Spa: A spa/sauna, steamroom, massage, foot bath, and body scrub/wrap.
It wasn’t just any pool: it was an "outdoor pool with a view." Which, in reality, meant it faced… a parking lot. Slightly less picturesque than the brochure promised. But the pool was clean, and I can’t lie, after the journey, it was exactly what I needed.
And then there's the Spa! I had a massage. A real massage. And, oh my god. It was the kind of massage that makes you question all your life choices (in a good way). The masseuse was a miracle worker. Seriously, my shoulders were singing a gospel choir. The Body scrub and sauna were also available and I was very close to using the sauna, but a nap was more pressing.
Dining, Drinking, and Maybe a Food Coma:
The dining situation was… interesting. There's a handful of options:
- Restaurants: The hotel has restaurants.
- Asian Cuisine: They offer Asian cuisine in the restaurant.
- International Cuisine: Also, an International cuisine in the restaurant.
- Coffee/tea: You can have coffee/tea in the restaurant, and a coffee shop.
- Happy hour: They offer Happy hour.
- Poolside bar: A poolside bar is available.
- Bar: They have a bar for all your drinking needs
- Desserts: You can have Desserts in the restaurant.
- Buffet: You can have a buffet in a restaurant.
- Breakfast: They offer Breakfast [buffet], Breakfast service, Asian breakfast, Western breakfast, and Breakfast in room.
The restaurant had a buffet, which, let's be honest, is always a gamble. But they also had an A la carte in restaurant, alternative meal arrangement, and Vegetarian restaurant options. I went for the buffet the first morning, and while it wasn't Michelin-star quality, the food was actually pretty decent. The coffee, however, was… well, let’s just say it wasn’t the highlight of the experience. I heard there was a coffee shop.
They also had a pool bar, which was a lifesaver. Nothing like a cocktail by the pool to make you forget the stresses of modern life… or the slightly questionable parking lot view. I did not take advantage of room service [24-hour] but the option was nice to have.
Anecdote Time! Okay, so there I was, happily munching on some salad in the restaurant when disaster struck. A rogue piece of lettuce, you see, launched an attack on my pristine white shirt. Cue panic! Luckily, the staff were incredibly accommodating. They not only helped me clean up the mess (bless their hearts) but also offered to send my shirt to Laundry service. Crisis averted!
Cleanliness and Safety – Because, You Know, We Live in These Times:
Honestly, this is where Asia Novo really shines.
- Cleanliness and safety: They go out of their way to ensure safety.
- Anti-viral cleaning products: They use anti-viral cleaning products.
- Daily disinfection: Daily disinfection in common areas.
- Hand sanitizer: Hand sanitizer is readily available.
- Hygiene certification: They have Hygiene certification.
- Individually-wrapped food options: Individually-wrapped food options.
- Physical distancing: Physical distancing of at least 1 meter.
- Rooms sanitized: Rooms sanitized between stays.
- Safe dining setup: Safe dining setup.
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items: Sanitized kitchen and tableware items.
- Staff trained: Staff trained in safety protocol.
- Rooms sanitized: Rooms sanitized between stays.
- First aid kit: They have a first aid kit.
- Doctor/nurse: A Doctor/nurse on call.
- Shared stationery removed: Shared stationery removed.
- Rooms sanitized: Rooms sanitized between stays.
They seem to follow protocols. There were Hand sanitizer stations everywhere, staff wearing masks, and a general sense of cleanliness that put my mind at ease. I even saw them scrubbing down the elevator buttons – now that's dedication.
Services and Conveniences (the Perks and Quirks):
Asia Novo offers a surprising number.
- Services and conveniences: They offer a lot of services.
- Air conditioning: Air conditioning in public area, as well as the rooms.
- Audio-visual equipment: They have audio-visual equipment for special events, meetings and seminars.
- Business facilities: They have business facilities, business center, Meeting/banquet facilities.
- Coin facilities: They have Coin facilities like Cash withdrawal and Currency exchange.
- Concierge and Dry cleaning: They have a concierge and dry cleaning services.
- Convenience store: They have a convenience store on-site.
- Daily housekeeping: Daily housekeeping is available.
- Elevator: An elevator is available.
- Facilities for disabled guests: They have facilities for disabled guests.
- Food delivery: They even deliver food!
- Gift/souvenir shop: They have a gift/souvenir shop.
- Invoice provided: An invoice is provided.
- Ironing service: They have Ironing service and laundry service.
- Luggage storage: Luggage storage is an option.
- Meetings: They cater to meetings and seminars.
- Meeting stationery: Meeting stationery is a useful option to have.
- On-site event hosting: On-site event hosting, outdoor venue for special events, indoor venue for special events.
- Safety deposit boxes: They offer safety deposit boxes.
- Terrace: A terrace.
- Xerox/fax: Xerox/fax in business center.
- Car park: They offer a Car park [free of charge], Car park [on-site], and Valet parking.
- Car power charging station: They have a car power charging station
- Taxi: They offer taxi service (not always a quick one).
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because this isn't your grandma's meticulously planned travel itinerary. This is a chaotic, honest, and possibly slightly unhinged account of my "adventure" (air quotes, anyone?) at the Asia Novo Boutique Hotel in Oroquieta City, Philippines. Prepare for a rollercoaster.
Day 1: Arrival and Initial Bewilderment (Plus, the Thing with the Mosquitoes!)
- 1:00 PM: Landed in Ozamiz (a city close to Oroquieta), and already feeling the heat. That blast of tropical air hits you like a warm, humid hug, except the hug is also trying to suffocate you with its humidity. Found a tricycle to the hotel – a thrilling ride involving questionable driving and a whole lot of honking. I’m pretty sure my life flashed before my eyes, multiple times.
- 2:30 PM: Arrived at Asia Novo. Honestly, the lobby was… fine. Simple, a bit clinical, but hey, the AC was working. Threw my bags down, and promptly began the unpacking ritual – you know, the one where you meticulously assess your life choices by unpacking your toiletries.
- 3:00 PM: The Mosquito Apocalypse. Seriously. The room. Ugh. It wasn't a mosquito "problem," it was a full-blown INFESTATION. I swear, I could hear them laughing. My optimistic "I can handle anything" attitude was swiftly replaced with primal fear. Sprayed every inch of the room with the provided insect repellent, which, frankly, smelled like a chemical warzone. Survived the initial waves, though I'm still pretty sure I got a dozen bites.
- 3:30 PM: Sucked it up. I’d heard the best thing you can do is go out for some fresh air. Found a nearby eatery and ordered a Halo-Halo – the multi-colored dessert with all the fixings. Delicious but too sweet for an already sweaty me.
- 5:00 PM: Wandered Oroquieta City. It felt both familiar and completely alien. The energy, the sheer volume of people on the streets. I got lost, obviously. Asked for directions, which involved a lot of pointing, gesturing, and me pretending to understand Visayan. Found my way back to the hotel, feeling a tad overwhelmed.
- 7:00 PM: Dinner at a local carinderia (small eatery). Tried kinilaw (raw fish marinated in vinegar and citrus). It was… an experience. The fishiness was intense, but, hey, "when in Rome…" (or, you know, Oroquieta).
- 8:30 PM: Back in the mosquito-infested room. More repellant. Another battle. This time, I won. Mostly.
Day 2: Beach, Bliss, and Betrayal
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast at the hotel. Basic. Coffee was weak, bread was… bread. But, hey, I was alive!
- 9:00 AM: Headed to a nearby beach. The water was a stunning turquoise, and the sand was almost white. Pure bliss. I’m not a water person. But this beach and the ocean, I loved it.
- 11:00 AM: Swimming, sunbathing. Lost in the moment. Truly magical.
- 1:00 PM: Lunch at a small shack on the beach. Freshly grilled seafood, cold beer, and the salty breeze. This. This was the life.
- 3:00 PM: Back to the hotel. A nap was essential because of the heat.
- 5:00 PM: Went to a local market. The vibrant colors, the smells, the sheer chaos of it all kept me going until my stomach and head were both screaming.
- 7:00 PM: Evening snack at the hotel. The hotel’s food was boring.
- 8:00 PM: The mosquito battle.
- 9:00 PM: Bedtime
Day 3: Reflections, Regrets, and the Road Ahead (Hopefully Away from Mosquitoes)
- 8:00 AM: Breakfast. The weak coffee and bread.
- 9:00 AM: Did an activity with the hotel, the staff was nice, nothing to report.
- 11:00 AM: Asked the staff if I could move rooms, the answer was a no.
- 12:00 PM: Lunch, nothing of interest.
- 1:00 PM: Thinking of moving hotels, but the staff was nice.
- 3:00 PM: Decided to stay, more money on the other hotels, also moving out is a hassle.
- 4:00 PM: More mosquito battling. This time I lost.
- 6:00 PM: Dinner, at least it was tasty.
- 8:00 PM: Bedtime.
Random Thoughts, Ramblings, and Regrets:
- The Internet: Spotty at best. Embrace the disconnect, maybe? Or rage against the dying of the Wi-Fi signal.
- My Overall Vibe: A mixture of awe, exhaustion, and a constant, underlying paranoia about being bitten by something.
- Would I Recommend Asia Novo? Okay, look, the rooms… sigh. The location is fine. The staff are lovely. But that mosquito situation… ugh! Depends on your tolerance for tiny bloodsuckers. Maybe bring a hazmat suit?
- Oroqueta City: A real place with real people. It's not a perfect place, but it's a real place, which is more than you can say for some places.
In Conclusion:
This wasn't a flawless trip. There were moments of frustration, and probably more than a few moments of existential dread. But there were also moments of pure, unadulterated joy. The beach, the food, the kindness of the locals – those are the things I'll choose to remember. And maybe, just maybe, I'll develop a phobia of mosquitoes.
Uncover the Secrets of Braga's Hidden Convent: Convento de Tibaes Revealed!
So...what *is* this thing, exactly? Like, what am I even looking at?
Honestly? Good question! Even *I'm* still figuring that out. It's like... a living document, I guess? A swirling vortex of questions and answers about... well, about *existing*. It's supposed to be a FAQ, yeah, but expect less "precise technical information" and more "ramblings from someone who's probably had way too much coffee and is slightly terrified of the void." Think of it as a therapy session disguised as a webpage. And YOU, my friend, are the unwitting audience.
How does this... *work*? Is there some magical code involved? Because if so, I'm officially impressed (or terrified).
Oh, the magic? It's all just... well, there *is* code. HTML, mostly. And honestly? It's probably clunkier than a broken robot. I mean, building this thing has been a constant learning curve, kind of like learning to ride a unicycle while juggling chainsaws… blindfolded. I swear, I've spent hours staring at the screen, just utterly baffled. There were tears at one point. Okay, maybe multiple points. Let's just say, perfection is a myth with stuff like this.
Why are you making this? What's the point?! Give me meaning!
Meaning? Oh, honey, I wish *I* knew. Maybe I'm trying to understand the sheer absurdity of... everything. Maybe I'm avoiding real-world responsibilities. Maybe I just like the feeling of typing words into a void. Or maybe, just maybe, I secretly believe I can connect with *someone* out there. Someone who gets it. Someone who also feels like they’re perpetually winging it. Look, the point is... there might not *be* a point! Isn't that freeing? No pressure! Just...exist.
Will you ever shut up?
HA! Good one! Probably not. I have a lot of thoughts, apparently. My brain is like a carnival ride, constantly spinning and shouting. But hey, you can always close the tab, right? No judgement. I get it. Sometimes I want to shut up too. Especially after that coffee kicks in.
What is your favorite color? (Important questions only!)
Ooooh, this is a toughie! But if I *had* to pick… I’d say that slightly-off-white, the kind that looks like it's been hanging around for too long. It’s that color that's sort of… resigned. Know what I mean? The color of an old, well-loved book, the paper yellowed with age. It just makes me feel… like it understands, you know? It's seen some things.
Okay, real talk: What's been the biggest challenge in all of this so far? Tell me *one* thing that nearly broke you.
Ah, you want the *real* drama, eh? Alright, fine. There was this one time... I was trying to figure out how to get the questions and answers to, you know, *appear* properly on the page. Sounds simple, right? WRONG. I spent, I swear, three days straight wrestling with this... thing called "schema markup." I was surrounded by code, half-eaten pizza crusts, and the ghosts of all the deadlines I'd missed. My eyes were bleeding from staring at the screen. My brain felt like scrambled eggs. I may have even started talking to my cat (who, by the way, offered zero helpful advice, as cats are wont to do). It was like I was wrestling a greased pig in a hurricane. Seriously. I considered just throwing the whole thing in the trash and going to live in a yurt. I was *this* close. But, you know... I’m stubborn, I guess. Finally, after what felt like an eternity, I think I FINALLY got it working. The relief was... indescribable. I literally collapsed on the floor in a heap of exhaustion and triumph.
Is there anything I can do to… *help*? (Besides, you know, just being here, which I'm pretty sure is the *only* thing I'm doing.)
Wow, you're… awfully nice. Look, the best way to "help" might be to just… *be*. Read, think, maybe laugh a little (or a lot! C'mon, laugh!). If you feel inclined, maybe send me an email. Or don't. It's all good. Your presence is pretty much the only currency I need right now. Oh, and maybe send coffee. Lots and lots of coffee.
What's the deal with the cat? I swear I sense a thematic presence of a sentient fluffy shadow
The cat, you say? Ah, yes. My feline overlord. Her name is Mittens, and she's basically my spirit animal. She's the epitome of "couldn't care less." She judges me constantly. She sheds. She demands food at 3 AM. And yet... I love her. She's a constant reminder that life is short, and napping is a perfectly acceptable activity. Also, she sits on the keyboard when I’m trying to work. So, there’s that. Oh, and one time she ate a whole sourdough loaf, and then blamed *me* for the mess. The cat is, as they say, the ultimate chaotic neutral. Also, she's probably plotting my demise. But, I digress.
Will you ever stop adding questions?
Ha! Absolutely not. Every thought that runs through my overly-caffeinated brain must, eventually, find its way into this digital abyss. Expect new questions, probably random ones. I mean come on, I just thought of five new ones right now. I'm a bottomless pit, I tell you! A question-generating machine. It's both exhausting and… strangely fulfilling.
